Busy

Busy. I don't know if I love or hate this word. I think what it comes down to is that I like being busy because that means that I'm not sitting around doing nothing wasting my life. There are so many things I want to do and see, places to visit, friends to meet, ways I want to help out, books to read and just all around beauty I want to experience in the world that this makes me want to be busy. I have always appreciated the words of Thoreau when he says he wants to " live deep and suck out all the marrow of life... to put to rout all that was not life; and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived." Or those of Jesus when he says " I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full"

Even though I like being busy I don't like feeling busy. I like doing lots of things but hate the feeling of having things hanging over me or the feelings that my schedule is completely booked. The things is thought that due dates and full schedules are part of the deal. I get to experience a lot of awesome things because I'm in the game and the times when I find myself the least satisfied is when I find that I have nothing to do and instead I'm just watching other people do everything.

My simple conclusion is that what I really need is not so much more free time, because honestly I have more than enough, but what I need is a change of prospective. I need to remember that so many of my most rewarding moments came from being willing to do things and not just sitting around hoping something great comes my way. It's in remembering that being tired isn't always a bad things. That sometimes sacrificing a little bit of comfort is worth it to build/see/contribute/experience something bigger than yourself.

I want to temper this post by saying that I think rest is important. We all need times of rest but my problem is I think I need more than I do. And when I get all of the rest I inevitably get bored or lonely or whatever.

I'm tired of feeling busy but looking forward to a busy day/month/year/life. Here's to being busy. Here's to living.

A Good Week

This past week I had a really good week. I think it is important to verbalize this as all too often I feel like I complain about stuff in my life instead of looking at all the good things I've been given.

This was a week of balance. Time for reading and for watching Lost with my roommate. Good food cooked at home but with a few meals in restaurants. Time of fellowship at the pool hall and time alone. Warm sunny afternoons and cold crisp nights. Time to exercise and time to sleep in. Busy afternoons and quite nights. Thoughts of the future and preparation for tomorrows.

I'm sure I complained this week both out loud and to myself but I wish that I hadn't. I think we have good weeks and even great weeks all the time we are just too self absorbed to see them. We imagine that for things to be good they should work out exactly as we wished. What a boring world that would be! Like they say: "Life is what happens to you while you're making plans".

Take a minute to think back on your week maybe it was better than you thought.

This weekend has been the calm before the storm. Next week we start our first full week of classes. Overall I'm ready for it. Ready for a routine and to start teaching again. I know I'm not the best teacher in the world by any stretch of the imagination but I do know I love teaching. I hope that is something I can keep up. I know a lot of teachers that have got burned out on teaching and I have to admit that part of me is afraid I will go to school and spend all this money and time to get a teaching degree and end up one of those teachers spending the last 10-15 years of their career waiting out the clock. I know a lot of these teachers might even still enjoy teaching but they can't stand the bureaucracy that more and more seems to be enveloping all aspects of the job.

I'm lucky that teaching over here in the Czech Republic I've been able to avoid the worst of it. Part of me wonders if I'll be able to adjust to teaching in America or if it is just in this particular situation that I like. In the end though I feel like there are some things I will like better and other things I won't but I guess I have to actually try teaching in America before I can really say too much more on the topic. So here's hoping.

Anyway like I said I'm ready for a routine. It's hard for me to get anything done with one. I love taking break and vacations but I like feeling that I earned one first. I feel like this year is going to be a lot of work but I'm looking forward to it. Like Thomas Paine says: "it is dearness only that gives everything its value". Now be sure to remind me of this when I'm flooded with school work both from my students and for my teachers!

Psalm 8

This morning I was reading Psalm 8 and it just reminded me of what I wrote the other day and how I often feel when I get the chance to get outdoors and walk among creation.

When I consider your heavens,
the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
which you have set in place,

what is man that you are mindful of him,
the son of man that you care for him?

The psalmist after considering the beauty of the world around him and of man himself has only one possible response to praise God for his amazing gift.

O LORD, our Lord,
how majestic is your name in all the earth!

This is why I love to hike or walk outside. To be reminded of this and to join the psalmist in his adoration.

Carolina

Spoke too soon about not having jet lag. I slept in too late this morning thinking it wouldn't hurt but I'm now suffering the consequences of hubris. I'm now hoping that the combination of blog writing, a night cap and James Taylor will get me to sleep before 2 am.

James just went out to Carolina in his mind and I think I'll join him for a while. At the moment I'm in the foothills sometime in the mid fall. The leaves have started to change and the hills have turned from rolling emeralds to the wild reds, yellows and oranges of a cheerful campfire. The color bedazzles the eye and the soul drinks in the moment of beauty and friendship and warmth. This is a place where every vista is worth hours of hiking for and where friendships are cemented in sweat and adventure and real conversations. Here you find hidden places and wondered if they've ever been burdened by the cares of a transient like myself. Here you long for eternity because finite time is too fickle and compels you to leave before your soul has had it's fill of color. Here you look out at the horizon and wonder aloud the deep questions of the heart some of which are answered and others that drift on into the distance never to be fully understand till we pass these terrestrial bounds.

As suddenly as Carolina comes she goes leaving behind just a faint promise of a distant future and a lingering hope of beauty and life. Now concerns of sleep and tomorrows both close at hand and those far away will call me back but I know that Carolina is out there and one day I'll find her.

Thanks James.

Back?

It's midnight on the night before I head back to the Czech Republic for my 6th year and though I'm tired both physically and emotionally I'm not ready for bed. So instead I go about wasting time in the usual fashion: TV, facebook and reading the news. When I'm this tired I know that I should go to bed but some part of me feels compelled to stay up. At the moment I'm wondering if that part of me is afraid of wasting my life or afraid of living it. In theory I don't want to miss out on life but I know that I often turn from those things that would bring growth to my soul and mind and instead settle for the warm comforts of stagnation.

This preamble is to say that I once again going to try and blog. I think that I like to write but often I don't do it and instead find a million other ways to waste my time. One problem I have with writing blogs can be summed up in the following quote from Pliny the Elder:

"True glory consists in doing what deserves to be written; in writing what deserves to be read; and in so living as to make the world happier and better for our living in it."

To make both our lives and our words have meaning is a momentous and sacred charge and although I agree with it in principal the casual blog writer may at times find this sentiment more oppressive than inspirational. I will try my best to both live and write according to Pliny's mantra but I will instead take for myself the less illustrious muse the old adage "that if something is worth doing, it is worth doing badly". I feel that the process of writing is worth something even if my themes or style lack something to be desired.

So onward and upward. I hope this is the beginning of a new blogging season and the beginning of stealing back a little bit more life from the vast pool of wasted time.

more summer pics

Summer

Well I took a year off from blogging but I'll true to do better this. Before I get to this year I'll start with a quick recap of the summer. It started out with Kass ans Stephen's wedding which was really beautiful and a lot of fun. After the wedding I went to Greece with my mom for a week. Following Greece I came back to Danville and almost immediately hit the wedding circle. After two weddings and a trip to Chicago I was back in Danville. A few days later I was out in LA to meet the new teachers. Finally I made it back home for a few days to see friends one more time before heading back to Prague. All in all I had a great summer! It was really great to see friends at home and at the weddings that I hadn't seen in a long time. In LA I had a ton of meeting the new teachers and even though there was a lot to do it was nice to be useful again after being on vacation for 5 weeks.

A few pictures from last year classes that didn't get published sorry they are so late guys!

Wow it has been a long time

I don’t know if anyone bothers to check this site but I though I would write a quick update. I really love living in Prague. I miss some things and definitely some people from Pribram but overall I think I’m happier in Prague. I have a lot of friends here and there are a lot of things to do. I’m grateful that I still get to see a few of my old students who are studying at a university in Prague. It is always fun to hang out with them. Yesterday I went to Pribram to see a few old students. I didn’t get to see too many but I was glad to see the ones that were around.

A week ago I went to Poland with a few friends. We went to Krakow and had a really good relaxed time. I went to Auschwitz which is always an eye opening experience. The part that was the hardest for me was seeing a room filled with suitcase and seeing addresses from many cities I’ve been to in the Czech Republic. I don’t really have words to express how I felt while I was there but if I had to sum it up I would choose the words sadness and shame. Sadness for the absolute horror that people had to endure in that place and shame that as a species we are capable of such things. I think there is some part of us as humans that desires to be god. To create something like God is difficult so instead we choose to rule over creation. The problem is that often we believe the best way to rule over creation is to force it into subjection. If someone or something is lower than us than we are we feel strong and we put them through all sorts of horrors to prove our control over their destinies. We imagine that we become gods to these individuals and thus we justify their subjection. I think this desire to set ourselves up as gods has always been the cause of humanities greatest evils.

Well enough of that. The rest of the weekend was great but one big problem was that I left my camera battery charging in the flat so no pictures yet I will try to get some from my friends and post them later.

simply amazing

"Only two things pierce men's heart beauty and affliction."-I don't know who said this but I think that it's true. I have recently been luck enough to have some moments in the last months of extreme beauty in which I really feel like helped me to see or experience (or whatever other word you prefer) God. The first was in my church in Prague. This came as a surprise to me as usually I feel like I can worship God and get some great teaching but usually don't have intense feelings of the beauty of God at church. Never the less a few months ago at church we were singing in both Czezh and English and in that moment I could just feel God. It's a hard feeling to describe especially to someone who has never had the experience of feeling/experiencing God but it was something like seeing the most beautiful thing you've ever seen and at that moment nothing else matters and there is no where else you would rather be and you have complete trust that everything will be ok even if it isn't now that it will be. That everything has a reason and that you are significant and that one day this amazing feeling of being loved and significant of rightness and beauty will continue forever. I don't know if you've ever had this experience or feeling but it's life changing. For me I most often experience this in nature looking at something so beautiful I can't help but know that it was created for us to have moments of beauty like the one I've describe to pierce our hearts and help us see God.

Trips

In the last few months I've had the opportunity to go to some amazing places. I want to quickly tell you about them.

Spain

My roommate and I were able to meet my sister and her boyfriend for a week long holiday in Barcelona. It took us a while to find each other because Bonnie's flight was delayed but once we did meet up the rest of the week was great. We spent a lot of time in the city admiring the amazing architecture (Gothic, Gaudi, Modern) but we were also able to go on two day trips. Our first trip was to Montserrat where we were able to visit an amazing monastery in the Pyrenees Mountains. The mountains were absolutely incredible and one of the most beautiful places I've ever been. Our other day trip was to the town of Tarragona. Tarragona was established by the Romans and still has a beautiful amphitheater over looking the sea. After spending a few hours looking at the Roman and Gothic parts of the town we spent the rest of the day on the beach. I had a really excellent time on this trip.

Cario

During Easter break I headed down to Egypt for a quick holiday. Egypt is a really interesting country. While we were there we spent two days in the White/Black desert and two days seeing some pyramids and some sights in Cario. The pyramids were amazing my favorite was probably the pyramid of Zoser the oldest pyramid in Egypt. The desert was really amazing the rock formations in the white desert are incredible.

New Blog

I don't why but I can't get access my old blog so I'm starting over.